Bizarro World
Welcome to Bizarro World. My name is Robert and I'd like to tell you a bit about it. I work at Serkut Wurlde, the leading supplier of computer parts, where your 27th computer is 27% off. We'll be having a special going on at our store nest week. If you buy $1,000,000 in products, you get a free pack of AAA batteries. Hurry, though, because the promotion only lasts seven days. We have a lot of special promotions here. For instance, we always give you free AA batteries with the purchase of an A/C adapter. I think it's a pretty fair deal. Also, you always have the option of buying fries and a drink for an additional $1.99 with the purchase of any item.
I have to admit that Jim & Bob's Olde Tyme Computer Shoppe and Taco Stande is pretty stiff competiton, though. Their "56K Modem & Bean Burritto" Combo is really killing us. 3 Floppies, a soft drink, and a side order of Fries for $2.99 + tax is what really draws people to the store, though. I have to admit that I like their deals. I even once bought a contraband modem there. The cool thing is that everyone seems to be working in another store. One guy tried to sell me shoes while another keeps telling about the joys of owning real estate. It was actually a little funny.
On my way home each Friday, I always make sure to stop by my bank, The First National Bank of Someting-or-Other. The Renegade Mimes they have working there really help. It's a little hard to understand them at times, though. They don't seem to use conventional mime gestures. To boot, they have this really old guy that sits outside tells stories about stuff that I know never happened, but what he says is really interesting nevertheless.
I had to visit my middle-aged genetically-enhanced lawyer squirrel. The visit wasn't about anything in particular. I just wanted to say hello. He has this interesting case involving 3-eyed singing snakes. I have to see them one of these days.
Well, that's about it for now. I'll get back to you when there's more.